Why Smokers Suck!

Check out my book “Sir Rantsalot” for an in-depth analysis on how smokers suck!

By nature, smokers suck. They suck a fad wad of rolled up burning skid marks in a piece of paper (good thing there’s a filter!) However, smokers sucking goes beyond the obvious physical act of puckering their lips around a little tobacco penis.

Smokers suck because, in their ulta-moral position to “do what they want” are forcing others to do what they DON’T want, namely inhaling their evil fumes.

Smokers suck because they pollute—ever look down on a public street? It’s littered with smokers’ unconscious waste.

Smokers suck because they are a drag on a welfare state that pays for their unhealthy habit. I don’t smoke, yet I have to pay for each and every smoker’s emphysema and lung cancer.

Smokers suck because they waste time at the workplace. Do I get a 15 minute break every 10 minutes to go kill myself slowly outside?

Smokers suck because they contribute to companies that do nothing for society except pull people down with their addictive but ‘cool’ habit that turns teeth yellow and lungs black.

Here’s to you smokers- you SUCK!

This guy sucks:


where do you think these butts go when the smoking asshole doesn’t jam them into his car ashtray? You got it—out hte window and onto our streets!


How about elevators? Smokers go take their gay-ass smoke breaks every 20 minutes while the rest of us people are working and when they commute back to their cubicle, they may have to use the elevator. But guess what? Their stinking-ass fumes haven’t been expelled completely from their dick-ass lungs so the others in the cramped elevator get to taste their evil stench for the ride back up to the office. And it doesn’t go away when they do. No, that bastard of an odor lingers for minutes or even hours after the lazy, wasteful cuds leave the enclosed area.

Elevators, just another reason why fucking smokers suck!

****By the way, read my responses to the comments below- I’m hilarious!

Response to a pro-smoking comment (“why can’t I endulge myself?):

Sure indulge yourself all you want…as long as it doesn’t affect others’ ability to indulge themselves (in other words, as long as one person’s freedom doesn’t inhibit someone else’s). In ever case that you mentioned, one person’s freedom inhibits someone else’s, so no, they shouldn’t be allowed to indulge themselves in that manner.

I think this is the central problem in today’s society. People think that they and everyone else has the right to do WHATEVER, even if it means that others have to pay for it. THat’s a crock of shit. No people don’t have a right to McDonalds and nationalized health care to pay for their clogged arteries. No, people don’t have a right to do reckless sports and have the taxpayer foot the bill. And no, people don’t have a right to slowly kill themselves with burning wildebeest fart sticks while they make others suffer.

Suck it up smokers:

386 responses to “Why Smokers Suck!

  1. I don’t smoke,but fuoK your point of view and personally you !!

    • Emperor of the 12 dimensions

      The point of view is valid..
      That means acceptable
      A few seconds of weakness
      A lifetime of pollution
      The chinks smoke the most.
      ur soft and scared
      I bet if ur favorite hooked died from smoking u would care. U have a boring name and little to listen to. I only replied to spit on u.
      It’s better than what I REALLY want to do.
      Think knives fire and falling 10000 feet
      Splash! Hopefully u land on some ugly fat cunt and 2 stones hooray. B4 anyone says how bad I am please understand if it were up to me only a million screened people would remain. Yes indeed I would butcher u:) then take up smoking haha

  2. Fuck you man and your nazi ideas. Go drawn yourself you dumb cionist.

  3. how did I end up here? comments are funny as shit. I don’t smoke but I would love to light one up in front of some of the people in here just to watch them cry… whiney bitches
    smoke weed everday
    im the real puff daddy

  4. Thank you SO much for this post! I totally agree!

  5. Seriously, **** smokers. **** smoking. ****ing losers… I ain’t paying for your ****.

  6. You make no sense at all, you picture with the caption “your paying for this persons health care” totally absurd and ignorant of reality. The truth is your a pussy, a uneducated fool. How can you say your paying for anyone’s health care when in fact, your not. Never have. Never will. You completely ignore or are just unaware smokers pay more taxes than non smokers, it’s a fact of life.

    I’m sorry your under the illusion that every time you start your car you’re not polluting 100 times worse than a million cigarettes…… So please get off your bullshit high horse, and leave us tax payers alone.

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