The Perfect GOP candidate

It seems that the Republicans are having trouble finding their perfect candidate. Every month seems to bring yet another frontrunner. First Perry, then Cain, and now Gingrich. Could it be that there isn’t a perfect candidate? Well, I decided to create one. So, if the party is serious and wants to get all Frankenstein on that ass- here it is.

Yes, I know- I realize that this is one ugly motherfucker. But it has tits, so that’s a bonus. And it can talk a hurricane into turning around and back it up with gumption. What’s more, this gob of GOP greatness would be the best president since Washington because it would follow the Constitution (thanks RP) and effect positive change in it too (like getting rid of the 16th Amendment and abolishing the IRS).

Notable omissions from my creation: Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney. They have very little to offer. You might want to go with Romney’s hair over Perry’s but that’s about it.

So, Republicans, let’s get Frankenstein. Or, you can forget about the hair, the tits, the cojones, and the tongue, and you can just elect Ron Paul, the only candidate in our time who gets it.

 

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