You can’t be there? Who gives a shit?

We’ve all seen the invites to parties or events through evite or facebook events in which a good portion of the respondents feel the compulsion to tell everyone on the event list that they can’t make it and exactly why they can’t make it.

There are the Debbie Downers:

“Sorry I can’t come. I have so much work to do and I’ll probably come down with some strange disease right before and be confined to my bed for 10 days.”

There are the Too Cool for Schoolers:

“Yeah, your party sounds slightly better than watching paint dry, but my ass will be in Ibiza lighting it up with two naked chicks with coke on their nipples.”

There are the Terse Apologetics:

“Sorry, can’t make it. XOXO”

There are the Competors:

“I’m having a birthday dinner that night. If anybody wants to do that instead, please visit my event:”

And there are the Non Sequiturs:

“Whoa–I’ve got wood and can’t spell my name…”

But let me get to my point: No one gives a fuck that you can’t make it to the party. If I put up an event page, I don’t want to hear your better plans or about your pathetic life. I want enthusiasm about my fucking event. I will erase your ass. No one cares.


One response to “You can’t be there? Who gives a shit?

  1. Love this<3

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