Fuck you February! You little bastard of a month. What the hell are you trying to pull? I’m going along through the year and then all of the sudden, it’s the end of the month without warning. Some months are 30 days; some are even 31, but you, February, you twisted little gay red-headed-step-child month, you are 28 days. As if!
Sure it’s a little better every four years when you’re 29 days, but most of the time you’re 28 days- making all my monthly payments and bills that much more expensive. See, I only get to work 28 days, so I only get 28 days worth of money, but my phone bill, cable bill, car payment and rent are all the same as the longer months’ when I work 31 days. February, you’re a short piece of shit! THanks a lot- I’m late for my rent because you HAAAAD to be different. July! Now that’s a month that does it right!
You think you can save yourself by sticking Valentine’s Day in the middle? WROOONGG- everyone hates Valentine’s Day. Guys think it’s lame and ridiculous and girls are always disappointed. Nice try, dick head.
And what’s with your dumb-ass name? Feburrruuerrrary? Could you fit more awkward ‘r’s in your gay-ass name? Oh- it’s so cold outside, people won’t notice that they mispronounce you EVERY SINGLE TIME they say your name (“Feb-yoo-ary”), you freezing mother fucking month. I’m sick of it, you ass-hole. Fuck you February!