Alli- “Lose weight or else!”

I have been hearing about this wonderpill for a while now, and it’s finally available over the counter: Alli helps you lose weight. What I haven’t been hearing about is the way it makes you lose weight, and it’s pretty freakin hilarious.

Alli is an over-the-counter drug that makes people stick to a healthy diet… or else, because if you eat too much fat (about 15 g in a meal or more), you will suffer from all those great side effects that we’re used to hearing about like loose, frequent or explosive stools, gas and oily discharge. So, people are putting themselves at risk of blowing out their pants with sewage just to avoid the effort of staying away from fat through will power.

Well, I’ve got an even better idea- it’s called Assi. It’s a little gadget that you attach to your belt and every time it senses that you’re eating fast food or the like, it sticks a firecracker up your ass and lights it. That way- you won’t be able to digest anything. Who needs pills or gastric bypass when you can just blow your ass up?!?

fatass- assi

It just goes to show that people will do anything to avoid responsibility. They want freedom, but they don’t want responsibility. The result of that is prison, though it might not seem like it. So, put down the pills and for the LOVE, put down the Twinkies!

For a info on real health have a look at You on a Diet or The Evoluion Diet

If you want to blow your ass up, check out: Alli


3 responses to “Alli- “Lose weight or else!”

  1. If only it was really.
    Thanks for the information!

  2. I do not think there will ever be a mircle pill no matter how much we wish there to be one. Humanity has long been in search for the fountain of youth. For most unfortunately good ol’ exercise and proper dieting is the best options. However, for the lady in your picture, genetics are not on her side and her habits have not helped her at all. Gastric bypass may be her only option if she were truly interested in losing weight.

  3. Genetics my ass. This chick is busy shoving 3000-calorie doughnuts down her fat choker

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