“Sort of” shut yer hole!

Let’s see if this sounds familiar to you:

“I think that may be part of it. There’s a bit of a reevaluation of the market- it’s sort of this adjustment after several months of increases of just sort of steady gains and sort of readjusting… this may be sort of an adjustment and I sort of feel like we’re in this period where the markets are trying to get a bit more back to reality… I know that sounds kinda vague… I think that’s why you see traders sort of grasping… I think for a lot of investors you need to sort of stay calm… people and markets got complaisant and we haven’t sort of seen that volatility in a while so…”

I feel like Sam Kinison in “Back to School,” “Say it, SAY IT, SAY IIIIT!”

kinison

This was a guest on ABC News Podcast about the recent Wall Street plunge: brilliant. Half the time I turn on the radio or Internet television, I hear some expert talking about their subject of specialty and yet they never say ANYTHING. It’s always, “sort of” this, or, “kind of” that. When they are on top of their game, these wobblers like to pull out the, “really sort of,” or the, “absolutely kind of.” I know there is a lot of little nuances in ever argument, but I feel like everybody on these networks is like John Kerry on weed (not that he ever inhaled).

NPR is the worst- yeah it’s unscripted and live, but does everything everyone says lack certainty? The reason for all these sort-ofs may be the British, who use the verbal crutch like it’s not toothpaste. Whatever happened to the good old, “uhh…” It’s a lost art, I tell you. People may think that saying, “sort of” before every idea will make them sound smart, but I think it makes people sound like wishy washy parents on the Peanuts cartoons. “I kinda think that wahh wahh wah wah waaaaahh…”

Well, I’ll always have old Sam Kinison clips to make me feel better about the state of speech in the Western world: Sam

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2 responses to ““Sort of” shut yer hole!

  1. I agree even thought this is more than two years later from the original post. I googled “everybody says ‘sort of'” and found this link. HECK YEAH. It’s so annoying. It’s part of the intellectual culture. The masses are the masses – they all want to fit in. I think it’s truly a subconscience tick that peopl ehave though. They hear other people say it and they “sort of” follow along!

    The other most annoying phrase of the last few years has been starting every sentence with “So” when they explain something.

    “So…yeah…. what we’ve seen in the markets is a “sort of” repricing of risk” AHHHH!!! SHUT UP!

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