Granted, neither Venus Williams or her sister Serena are going to win any Miss Universe contests, but there’s still hope for some ounce of femininity with the awesome tennis siblings. Venus just happens to be hanging on to that virtue while Serena is turning into a damn gorilla. I have to say- both women are the sweetest personalities off court, but Serena is a monster on the court- from nasty grunts and yells to her World’s Strongest Man-body.
So it was nice to see the fairer of the fairer sex take the Wimbledon championships this year. Go Venus! Count one for femininity.
As anyone can tell by the content on this website, I’m not a big fan of the Baby Boomer generation, but over the Thanksgiving holiday, my mom introduced me to what must be a Boomer phenomenon (because no one I know has watched it)— Dancing With the Stars. I was skeptical at first, but after a few dances, I was enthralled. How can they move that fast?! How can memorize all those moves?! And, most importantly, how can Julianne’s skimpy dress stay on through all that?!
I have to say that I’m a fan now. I knew dancing was difficult (after 3 classes and numerous bandaged girfriend’s feet, I couldn’t even waltz), but this is a freakin art! I’m over all the reality TV drama and the judges can get a little obnoxious, but the dancing is unbelievable.
After watching a couple episodes and previous dances on YouTube, I’m convinced that Helio and Julianne should win based on talent alone (and because they’re cuter than a baby in gorilla suit).
I had a boss who was a little kooky to say the least. He would give me something to do, then immediately tell me not to do that, then ask me what I thought, then, before I got a chance to answer, he would start telling me what to do again. In other situations he would answer a question of mine with, “Yes. No. Yea-no…. Yes…. No, ok.” He wouldn’t trust any employee with a key to the office and didn’t want us talking to ex-employees who had quit because of his abusive behavior. This is what we like to call CRACKED-OUT.
There’s a reason for why people get this way—it’s called CRACK ROCK. It’s the crystallized form of that ever-popular drug cocaine and I’m convinced most Baby Boomers had a little in their hay-day. If it wasn’t crack rock, it was LSD or some other mind-altering drug. And they did it when they were young and they did a lot of it. I’m sure they did a lot of tokin’ on the bong pipe too, but most people agree that weed is comparable to alcohol, and there isn’t much of a distinction between generations when it comes to those two drugs.
No—I’m talking about the heavy, psychedelic, hallucinogenic, and physiology-changing narcotics. The 60s were the years of mind-opening drugs and, boy did they open some minds! It opened people’s minds to a lot of dumb-ass behavior (see above). The 70s weren’t much better—in fact that decade was probably the peak of people jamming things up their noses, shooting veins, wrapping tongues, filling lungs, and then throwing it all back up.
Of course all of the Boom Generation didn’t lose their entire childhood to the chemicals from Timothy Leary’s basement laboratory, but enough did that they’re making cracked out—especially in the workplace—commonplace.
Some may say that the end-of-the-alphabeters—Generations X and Y—aren’t any better, but I contest that ol’ Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” worked—look at the stats. Drug use across the board decreased consistently from 1980 to the early 90s. Barrack Obama may have been all coked up in high school, but he can’t very well blame it on peer pressure. We didn’t do as much of the hard stuff in high school or after and our minds are better for it. However, our clear heads make for that much more frustration when we have to deal with the Baby Boomers who spent half their life on drugs and pretend they didn’t.
If you likes that- there’s more where it came from in my wonderful little ode to our silly little self-obsessed parents: the Baby Boomers. Check it out and buy a copy or fifty:
I have been hearing about this wonderpill for a while now, and it’s finally available over the counter: Alli helps you lose weight. What I haven’t been hearing about is the way it makes you lose weight, and it’s pretty freakin hilarious.
Alli is an over-the-counter drug that makes people stick to a healthy diet… or else, because if you eat too much fat (about 15 g in a meal or more), you will suffer from all those great side effects that we’re used to hearing about like loose, frequent or explosive stools, gas and oily discharge. So, people are putting themselves at risk of blowing out their pants with sewage just to avoid the effort of staying away from fat through will power.
Well, I’ve got an even better idea- it’s called Assi. It’s a little gadget that you attach to your belt and every time it senses that you’re eating fast food or the like, it sticks a firecracker up your ass and lights it. That way- you won’t be able to digest anything. Who needs pills or gastric bypass when you can just blow your ass up?!?
It just goes to show that people will do anything to avoid responsibility. They want freedom, but they don’t want responsibility. The result of that is prison, though it might not seem like it. So, put down the pills and for the LOVE, put down the Twinkies!
I’m no conspiracy theorist, but there was something a little fishy this season in the NFL. More than would be remotely believable, teams in the NFL turned the ball over on back-to-back possessions, leading one to believe that teams may be scripting games. The paranoid plot goes something like this:
1) Team A is driving and looking to score.
2) Team A fumbles the ball
3) Team B recovers, but gets a message from the booth that they should let the other team continue with the ball
4) The very next play, team B fumbles and team A recovers
This may sound silly and paranoid, but it can’t be a coincidence that it happened so much this past season. Here are the games that the most crooked team in sports has completed a back-to-back turnover series in 2006:
10-10 , 10-17 , 10-30 (thrice) , 11-5 , 11-12 (2 plays later) , 11-26 (ever single possession) , 12-3 (classic examples) and those were just the close games.
Given that New England doesn’t turn the ball over that much- it’s strange that it happens so often right after their opponents cough it up. Is it just New England who has caught the turnover contagious disease? No- the NFC wildcard game in Chicago gave us a back-to-back interceptions plays, the Colts/Ravens matchup that weekend has two interception exchanges, and the Super Bowl (featuring the two best teams in the league presumably) showcased two separate cased of the disease: both back-to-back fumbles plays. Of course, weather may have had an impact, but the back-to-back thing still sticks.
I’m not saying that any NFL wants to lose, but I guarantee that the leadership in the NFL likes when games are close and if that means the front office of a team needs to tank a possession to keep in the good graces of the league, then that’s probably what they’re going to do.
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